Surprise! Baby #2 Is On the Way!

Wow...this is something I honestly didn't think would happen. Baby #2. We've had plenty of ups and downs and have experienced doubts and loss, so I thought I would share our journey with you all and what put us in this new chapter in our lives. 

Rewind to April 2009

April 2009 was the first time we were pregnant. We 100% had an oops moment as I had been trying new various birth control options - I have never been a fan of the pill - so I was trying the Nuvaring, which if you have tried it, you know it comes out often and especially during the worst times. 

Nevertheless, we were SO excited! In fact, we were so excited we decided to tell our families way early - like 6 weeks, they were obviously just as excited and we couldn't wait to meet our little one. 

Two weeks later on June 2, 2009 I was working as normal but was having some pretty sharp pains in my stomach. I thought it was just normal and stuck it out as long as I could. In the late afternoon my boss took me to the Emergency Room. Shortly after arriving they did an ultrasound and determined that I had an Ectopic pregnancy. 

Ectopic pregnancy : A pregnancy in which the fertilized egg implants outside the uterus. This complication is extremely rare and happens in only 1-2% of all pregnancies. 

Thankfully Chris was able to make it to the hospital before they wheeled me back for surgery. The only thing I really remember is a nurse pulling the contacts out of my eyes as I went under. I woke up shortly after, feeling empty and devastated. (the pain is still so fresh, even over 10 years later I have tears streaming down my face writing this, the pain from a loss like this never goes away)

My dr. who also performed the surgery came in and went over what had happened and explained that she had to remove one of my ovaries and a fallopian tube. I think I was both in shock and confused. 

What did this mean for us and starting a family? Would I ever be able to have a baby? Why did this happen?

My doctor explained that she did think it would be possible for me to get pregnant again, however, that after losing an ovary and a tube that my chances would be cut in half as I would only ovulate every other month for the rest of my life. 

After healing Chris and I decided that we were so excited about our 'oops' that we were just going to go about life as normal, we weren't going to necessarily try to have a baby, but we also were not going to prevent it. 

September 2019

We were so excited to be blessed with another pregnancy and especially so soon after our loss. We were so skeptical, and I was terrified that I would have another ectopic pregnancy. If you have an ectopic, your chances of having another is increased by 10%. My dr. scheduled me to come in right away to make sure baby was in the right spot this time, which thankfully it was, we were going to have a baby Daphnie!  

For the first and some of the second trimester with Daphnie was very normal. About half way through the second trimester, the growth of Daphnie and the stretching of my insides caused two of my ribs on my right side to dislocate and eventually fracture. This was the most painful and uncomfortable time of my life and there was nothing that could be done. I refused to take any sort of medication, no matter how safe they seemed to be, so I just did my best to get along day to day and when Daphnie would stretch, it would literally take my breath away. I found that if I gently pushed my bump downwards, it would relieve some of the pain momentarily. 

A few months into managing the dislocated rib pain my Dr. suggested that I try to go to a chiropractor and have the ribs put back into place. I tried it and it would help for a short period of time. I ended up having to go at least once a week but ended up giving up after about a month when I felt my ribs pop right back out as I walked out of the Chiropractor to my car. 

Another weird thing that happened was some point in my third trimester I noticed a bump on my chest, near my collarbone rapidly growing one day, over just two days it was probably dime sized and protruding! I called my primary as I did not think it was pregnancy related at all - he got me in that day and ended up removing what he called a 'hormone growth'. I'd never seen or heard of anything of the sort before but apparently my crazy hormones decided to start growing a new extremity on my chest! I've still never met anyone else that had this random side effect of pregnancy and honestly for everyone else I hope it doesn't happen. Thankfully that was the last I saw of the growth, but am forever scarred (both physically and emotionally) for life. 

May 2010

May 10, 2010 11:00pm - as I was changing into my pajamas, getting ready to get into bed I thought my water broke. We immediately got ready and went to the hospital. They checked me in, the nurse checked and my water didn't break - they think Daphnie just gave my bladder a good kick. We were disappointed, but it wasn't our first false alarm. They told us they would keep me for an hour to monitor me per protocol and then send us back home. I took a nap, they came in an hour later to check and to all of our surprise, I had dialated another 3cm (I was 3 when we went in) - so they admitted me and told us to get ready to have a baby! 

They hooked me up and I went back to sleep. A few hours later they woke me up and said it was epidural time - yes I absolutely got an epidural - but looking back on it and hearing everyone else's stories, I'm not sure I needed one as there was not one second that I was in pain up until that point. The epidural was actually the only painful part because they had actually missed, which if you haven't experienced it, feels a lot like you're getting electrocuted through your legs...or what I think electrocution would feel like...they did this TWICE before finally getting it in the right spot. 

After the epidural I definitely took some more naps and visited with family that came to sit with us. When it was time, the nurses started the process which was so easy they actually had to tell me to stop pushing as the baby was coming too quickly and they needed me to wait for the Dr to be in the room. It was actually a struggle to find the Dr. but once he made it, I pushed once and Daphnie was here!

May 11, 2010 was by far the happiest day of my life. We got to meet the beautiful miss Daphnie and immediately fell in love. We were forever obsessed with that precious little face and she immediately became the center of our world. Daphnie was absolutely perfect and completely healthy. I am so grateful and know what a blessing it is to have a healthy baby. 

Shortly after having Daphnie the questions started rolling in - When were we having another baby?  Shortly after and for years after we were set 100% on Daphnie being an only child. We were happy with our family of 3. I was petrified to go through pregnancy again. 

As the years went by and after Daphnie started school and saw her friends with their siblings - she started to ask if she could have a sibling. We basically have gone back and forth but have remained 'on the fence' on the subject for years. I've written more Pros/Cons lists than I can count. We usually ended up just going with the easy route of staying a family of 3. 

Fast Forward to January 2019

We had been in discussion for months again on the topic of having another baby or not. In December of 2018 we decided we were going to go for it. I scheduled to get my IUD removed in January of 2019 and we would try later in 2019 after my cycle returned to normal.  The day came and I had my IUD removed. It was so painful but my dr ensured me that everything would be fine and we would be able to start trying in just a few months. 

Unfortunately I ended up having quite a few complications. My body did not react well to the removal of the IUD. I ended up having almost daily fevers/chills/fatigue along with headaches and occasional weakness for the next year. While the doctors and countless testing couldn't figure out what was wrong I couldn't help but to blame the IUD - it was the only thing that had changed. On top of this complication my cycle was really off. It took months to get to anywhere that could be even remotely considered normal. 

During this time we were again not trying but not preventing pregnancy either. In May of 2019 I started feeling pregnant, missed a period and took a series of pregnancy tests as I didn't quite believe it. My doctor got me in right away again and wanted to do bloodwork to ensure the pregnancy took. The bloodwork came back as positive, but just slightly - she advised that there was a good chance that the pregnancy didn't implant completely and that she wanted to do bloodwork again two days later. Within a day I had lost the pregnancy. 

At this point we thought it be best to really watch my cycle and be careful. The goal was to get my cycle on track and for me to be healthy and not have these fevers anymore. 

Fast forward a few months later and my cycle had gotten slightly more normal, but I was still having my random almost daily episodes. We had mostly stopped talking about having a baby but we had said that we kinda wished it would just happen so we could basically just have the decision made for us. Well January 2020 - a year after I had my IUD removed, we were pregnant again. 

I had mentioned to Chris a few times that I thought I was pregnant but he didn't think so. I ended up taking a test which came back positive, but I only took one thinking there was a good chance it was just another chemical pregnancy. My doctor set up another series of blood work - I went to both appointments and they both came back positive/healthy! We were having a baby!

The next hurdle was making sure baby was in the right spot. We were now hoping and praying that baby was nestled safely in my uterus where it needed to be to grow healthy. My Dr. made me an ultrasound appointment at 8 weeks. The days leading up to that appointment were so nerve-wracking. I focused and obsessed over every little pain in my abdomen. 

Thankfully our ultrasound came back totally normal and baby is growing happily where it should be. That appointment was such a relief. I felt like we were in the clear!

During that same week I started noticing a rash on my leg and then eventually got little itchy rash bumps all over my stomach, back, legs and eventually my arms. Within a week I was covered in small red itchy patches. I also had a dr appointment that week, so she was able to diagnose the rash as Pityriasis Rosea. She seemed slightly concerned and said that if the rash continued along with my fever (oh yeah those were still happening), that she would want to do some more testing on it during my next visit.

Like every other person in the world when I got home I googled Pityriasis Rosea...it was a mistake.  WebMd's article on the rash stated that according to a small study done on pregnant women with the rash - most of those that got the rash before 15 weeks ended up having miscarriages. I was devastated. I cried myself to sleep for days. I couldn't believe that this, again, rare and random complication was happening to me. I told myself this was the last time I would be pregnant, no matter what as I just couldn't take it anymore. 

During the 10th week the rash did start to heal and go away. The concern that something could happen hasn't faded, although we decided to just proceed as planned and trust and pray that everything will be okay. 

Telling Daphnie...

On the day I took the home pregnancy test, Daphnie came into the office where I was working after school and the first thing she said was that she really wanted a sibling. It had been a while since she had said it, but it gave me hope that she would be excited when we did decide to tell her. Over the years she has gone back and forth on whether she wanted a sibling or not. More recently she had expressed a few times that she was thankful to be an only child. 

As I had many times before in writing my pros/cons lists I went over in my head all of the potential impacts that this baby could have on Daphnie and how I thought she might handle it. We decided to tell her right at 9 weeks. I wanted to wait longer but Chris was having a really hard time keeping the secret from her, so we agreed to wait until after the ultrasound to make sure baby was in the right spot. 

I made up this cute box with a hat that says 'sister' a necklace that says 'big sister', a new book from one of her favorite series about being an older sister along with the ultrasound pictures. 

She opened the box and was immediately excited, but it took her a minute to realize that I was pregnant. To be fair, we had talked about adopting in the past. She couldn't be more excited - she talks about being a big sister all of the time. Daphnie is currently 100% #teamgirl and will not even discuss the possibility that baby could be a boy. 

I'm excited to see Daphnie as a big sister. I'm slightly upset that it took us so long. On one hand I wish we would have given her a sibling that she could grow up with and play with. At the same time, I'm happy that we gave her an only child childhood - there are so many things that she has gotten to do and places we've gotten to go and memories that we've been able to make because she was an only child.

My hope is that I navigate baby #2 successfully as it pertains to Daphnie. I want to make sure that she still gets all of the attention that she needs and have already told my husband that I want to make sure that we take her on special 1-1 dates with her and it is so important to me that we not make any part of the baby her responsibility or make her feel like she needs to do anything to help with baby. I am positive she will want to help, but I do not want to take advantage of that.

Baby #2 is On the Way!

As I am writing this I am in my 11th week. The rash is almost completely gone. I have had a lot of trouble with food and how it affects how I'm feeling so I'm doing my best to eat as much fresh food as possible - which during a quarantine is not terribly easy. I've had to send Chris to the store a handful of times to grab fresh fruits and veggies - which are slim pickings right now. This week I've started eating very small snacks instead of meals which helps my system digest easier and less painfully, so far. I obviously eat multiple snacks throughout the day versus eating big meals.

Other than that my only major symptom is being so extremely exhausted all.the.time. I can wake up in the morning, wide awake and refreshed but within a few hours be crashing so bad. I spend my lunch breaks taking a nap some days, other days I take a nap after I'm done working for the day. I'm definitely looking forward to the second trimester burst of energy!

This pregnancy has not been much different than my pregnancy with Daphnie, to my memory - but it has been 10 years, so there's a lot I don't remember.  For that reason only I think we may be having a girl, but my husband is still holding on to any strand of hope that baby is a boy. He wants so badly to have a little him running around, not to mention his brother is also having a baby boy just a month before us! What's crazy is his brother had a baby 6 months after Daphnie was born, and is now having his second almost 10 years later - the same as us. It's crazy timing but we are super excited! I also have a cousin who we are very close with who is having a baby two months before us! I am so thankful to have all of these mamas around me to go through this at the same time...not to mention all of the mamas on the blog/Instagram who are also pregnant - I am so excited to grow this little community with all of the mamas!

Thank you for reading along -  this has to be the longest blog I've ever written. I try to keep my blogs short and sweet but wanted to get out entire story out there. 

Keep baby in your prayers, we are still very concerned but hopeful that everything will be okay and I will get to carry baby full term and he or she be happy and healthy!

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